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The Visit

My three year old made it out the front door without his  shoes.  Hardly a surprise. The screen door was giving its last hesitation before finally clicking closed, and thinking he was being left behind, he ditched the shoes and squeezed his hiny out. Which I mentally decided was fine. We were only headed next door.

Our neighbors are retired and don’t have children, so bless their hearts for ever extending an invitation our way. 

We were coming over to say ‘hello’ to the black and white declawed cat they were watching for a friend and to peek at a birdhouse they’d had, which still held in it a leftover nest. Well, the cat was no dumby. After putting up with two crippling pats on the back, just her tail could be seen from behind the plant. Swishing.  No fluttering of the feathered cat toy (by my daughter) or stabbing of the same cat toy through the leaves of the plant (by my son) were going to convince her to extend a whisker.  Smart, smart kitty.

As for the birdhouse, my neighbor’s sweet explanation was lost on my son. He’d taken his quick peek and then pranced off with his bare feet.  He needed something to tug on, to uproot; something he could get his hands all over.  Something like hmm… the tumbled petrified wood pieces my neighbor had in a glass dish on the top of her glass coffee table.  Which are polished and make a breaking sound when dropped on glass.  And which made my retired neighbor smile and say, “it’s okay.”  When I was pretty sure it’s wasn’t.

So for the sake of my neighbor’s blood pressure, her petrified wood pieces, the frightened declawed cat and the fact we’d been there 12 minutes, we subtley slunk out her front door.  We pleasantried and sashayed from her yard to mine. Which was time enough for both my children to burst like fireworks from our front door carrying scissors.  And hardly enough time for me to pull  my arms from my short’s pockets to catch my neighbor lest she crumple in our driveway and need immediate CPR.

But all is well, friends.  No neighbors were physically hurt during this quarter hour. And I look forward to our next visit about this time next year.


No Responses to “The Visit”

  1. Greg Domingos says:

    So, when are you going to teach the kids how to use a chain saw? I want to know so I can record the moment of America’s Funniest Videos (also for insurance purposes). Great story.

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