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Taping the Family Jewels

The same child who crawled into my bed this morning and tooted on my sheets and who is now sliding down the stairs for fun in his underwear is also the child who yesterday cried from upstairs like an animal in distress because…

because he’d taped his weanie.

That I found my husband and my son both in the doorway of my son’s bedroom–one of them holding back the laugh of his life–and the other in near hysterics didn’t seem like such a stretch.  Until I saw with my own eyes what I could not have imagined.  And, well, I could only suck in my breath.

My husband informed me, as one who likes to start from the beginning, that he’d told our son to go get dressed.  Only it was obvious that wearing just a dangling roll of double-sided tape around his weanie, our son had not obeyed.

Then, as one who might implode if he doesn’t let the biggest laugh rip, my husband near cried, “and that’s the second piece he’s pulling off.”

Which made me smirk.  Until I realized from the crescendo in my son’s cries that that second piece wasn’t coming off. 

My son had wrapped his weanie like a Christmas gift he hadn’t wanted anyone to open, and, well, he’d done a good job.

I’d just knelt down to help peel the last confining piece when I grabbed my husband instead. “Do something,” I gasped.  “It’s turning purple.”

By which time my naked son managed to unwind the last of his weanie and then curl into my lap to convulse for the next ten minutes.

I patted his sweet bottom.

It was the least I could do.

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2 Responses to “Taping the Family Jewels”

  1. Christal says:

    That is hillarious! I’m suprised my boys haven’t done that yet. Thanks for visiting my blog. I just did some work on it and thanks to you relized that I had moderate all comments on. Thanks.

  2. Southern Gal says:

    You’ve got me laughing out loud! You sound like you’ve got your hands full. You seem to handle it all with lots of grace and laughter, though. Nice to “meet” you.

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