I was not in the kitchen when my husband squished out a fart.
But my children were.
At which time my husband said, “did you hear that? Barking spiders.”
My kids went on the hunt, suddenly wary of being barefoot. “Are they poisonous?” my daughter wanted to know.
“You’ll have to ask your mom,” my husband sputtered.
Both kids scrambled upstairs. As my daughter opened her mouth to speak, a big Buwaahhahaaaha erupted from the kitchen.
My daughter went ahead. “Are barking spiders poisonous?” My son’s bugged eyes showed he needed to know, too.
I smiled. Then looked right at my daughter.
“You tell your daddy…they’re deadly!”
My daughter hollered over the railing, “yeah, dad! They’re poisonous!” My husband snickered.
Only I corrected. “No, honey. Not poisonous. Deadly.”
My husband joined us upstairs. At which time–between snorts–he cleared the confusion on barking spiders and simultaneously brought the house down.