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Sometimes even when it makes sense to smile, I…I just can’t.  The worry of the world is too heavy.  And it isn’t just on my shoulders…it’s got a hold of my heart.  And it’s stifling.  Strangling.  Preventing me from seeing even the joy in the present…the joy right in front of my face.

I hear myself speak.  And my neutral words sound anything but.  They come out like a spanking.   And the people I love creep to another room.  They tiptoe around the kitchen with wide eyes that say, ‘momma ain’t no fun right now–watch out’.  And they do.

They egg shell around me.  And when we talk, it’s about the weather.  Or dinner.  Or nothing.

Only I don’t blame ’em.

I don’t even want to be around me right now.

I…

I just want to be free.

At five o’ something this morning, my underweared son needed me.  To tuck him in.  Again.

Only I realized that between the hours I’d laid my head down and risen to the whisper of my son, a paradigm shift had happened.

And all I can say is–thank you, Jesus, that joy comes in the morning.

Thank you, for this one.

And this one.

And a brand new day.

Amen.

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6 Responses to “When Joy Comes in the Morning”

  1. Bethany Grasley says:

    Awesome post Jeanne. I needed this today. Thank you!

  2. Kim Frey says:

    I call those orange days, I mark them on my calendar and the whole family knows it aint them that put me in a funk and they can expect it again in about 26 days.

  3. Jackie M says:

    On days like that, there’s something about looking at your family that helps the soul turn around. I try to surround myself with pictures of
    those who I love with all my heart and make my life worth living…and soon my spirits are lifted. We all have to have reasons to get up in the morning, and there’s nothing like family to do that.

  4. Rita Leyva says:

    Jeanne….your writing always makes me smile………

  5. kristine kwok says:

    Loved it! Beautiful, poetic, moved me.

  6. jeanne says:

    Thanks, Mitz. Love how you said that.

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