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God’s Math

Sometimes…the math isn’t pretty. All this to do plus this little time plus these people in my way and nobody moving fast enough. Equals…

Equals unhappiness. It always has.

That. And frustration. And sometimes a voice raised too high. And always children who want to slink away. Or move in with their cousins.

Because.

Because, when I trace the minutes back, it was more important for me to get the day started–chop-chop, than it was for me to get the day started right.

Months ago I poured myself into the book, The Blessed Life by Robert Morris. And that’s when the changes started.

I noticed it first in my morning math. Noticed that when I chose to let the computer with its facebook notifications and the unmade breakfast and the child poking his head in the doorway saying for the sixth time that he can’t find anything to eat…when I chose to let all this become secondary to my sitting in this chair asking God to sort this day out because if it was left to me it might not look as nice, God did the supernatural.

He redeemed my day. Redeemed it before it even started.

I  can tell you now that I don’t understand the math.  I don’t get how these dishes plus these crusty counters plus nobody dressed plus lunches to make plus a piano lesson in ten minutes equals anything but three people sobbing.

But it does.

In the finite it makes no sense. But God has never wimped on his blessings. When I give God the first of my time–whether in prayer or in silence or in scribbled gratitude or in a moment in his Word–give him the first. Not a squeezed minute as I’m driving late to the Y. Not my leftover time when I flump to the couch at 9 p.m. The first. What happens is a change in me. A calm. An indescribable readiness for whatever meets me when I walk down the stairs. And an awareness that the urgent really isn’t.

Today the kid whose eggs rolled off the counter before he even had a chance to crack them himself did not hear a “you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me sigh. It wasn’t in me. Not even there.

The thing is, I haven’t exchanged being on time for being late. Though I don’t know how that is. But I have swapped chaos and worry for peace.  Criticism for calm. A busy mind for a ready ear.

I don’t know why. I just know. Know that when I give God the first of my time, he doesn’t just redeem it. He blesses it.

Can you believe it?

He blesses it!

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One Response to “God’s Math”

  1. Nikki C. says:

    Love this – Your honesty blessed me

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